FOR THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE BY SUICIDE

"Now that I think about it, that was a sign. Why didn't I notice it ......"
If only I had listened to him then. ......
It is understandable for the bereaved to feel such remorse.
However, the signs of suicide are often missed even by medical specialists,
It is very difficult for even family members to pay complete attention to the signs of suicide.
If the person who has passed away could see the way the survivors blame themselves and worry every day,
If the person who has passed away is watching you blame and worry about yourself every day...
I am sure that he or she would suffer even more.

From the teachings of Master Ryuho Okawa, we have selected a prescription for your mind that you need right now.

Death is not an eternal parting.

Death is certainly sad for the physical human being, but from a spiritual perspective, it is a departure to the other world, a return to one's original world. Life in this world is like studying abroad in a foreign school, and death is returning to one's own country after completing one's studies.

It is understandable that we grieve for a death as a matter of human emotions or as a culture, but there is a problem if we grieve too much.

From "The World of Eternal Life" by Ryuho Okawa

Tips for Tomorrow to Overcome Suffering

Tip 1: Accept yourself for not being perfect.

If you are now blaming yourself a lot and suffering every day and night without sleep, you need to admit to yourself that you are living clumsily. Do not seek only to be perfect. It is important to have the heart to endure and allow yourself to be that way, because you are allowed to be that way because you are doing soul training on earth and learning in the school for the soul.

Tip 2: Put a prescription on suffering.

Even so, it still takes a certain amount of time for remorse to fade. With the help of time, why don't we consider that "there should be a statute of limitations on mental suffering," just as there is a statute of limitations in the legal world. Just as it is important to have the courage to forgive others for their sins, we should also have the courage to forgive ourselves. The person who died would never want the bereaved to continue suffering forever.

Tip 3: Believe in eternal life.

There are many bereaved families who say that knowing about life after death has helped them overcome the grief of losing a loved one and given them the courage to live. From a spiritual point of view, the souls of suicide survivors are often still lost on earth, and this is why the bereaved family members' right and courageous way of life can be a trigger to give salvation to such lost souls.

In order for the bereaved family members to overcome their emotional suffering, it is essential for them to know religious truths about human sin, forgiveness, and eternal life. Understanding these truths, as well as the support of those who are related to each other, will help prevent further tragedies.

By being shown by the remaining family members how to live rightly in this world, the deceased can also learn how to live rightly. This will be the power to save the spirits who are lost.

The greatest offering is for the bereaved family members and those who are related to them to learn the Truth of Buddha.

The "practice of righteous living" of the bereaved family members and others who are related to the deceased serves as a clue to the deceased to go up to heaven.

In the next life, as long as we reflect properly, we can all return to heaven. If you change the direction of the needle in your own heart and replace your thoughts, you can return to heaven. However, since our deceased ancestors do not understand such things, it is up to our living descendants to put them into practice.

Ancestors always look toward their family members, so when their descendants show them how to do it, they say, "Oh, so this is how they do it." They think like that. "You give love to others and don't take credit for it. You live your life in a way that is kind to others. That is the way my descendants seem to live. I see, I didn't live that way. This was a mistake." They will realize that.

"Eko (turning light to)" can ease the suffering of the deceased

In Buddhism, the term "Eko" means, in short, to turn one's own light toward others, to turn one's own love toward others, or to turn one's own virtues toward others.

In principle, of course, it is the fault of the individual, but it is also possible to help in some small way through such help.

As you study the truth of Buddha and devote yourself to it day by day, an accumulation of light will be created in your heart. A "storehouse" will be created, and within that storehouse, "wealth" will be created. The "wealth" or "light" in this storehouse can be called the "virtue" that you have created in this world.

Through spiritual discipline, we create virtues every day, and we can give these virtues to our ancestors. This is the same as when you save money and donate it to those in need. It is because of your virtue, which is invisible to the eye, that you are able to "eko," or "offer" it. We can "turn the virtue" to the deceased ones.

In this way, it is just like a flotation device being thrown to a drowning person. The drowning person has to get out of the water by himself/herself, but we can ease his/her suffering.

The enlightenment of a person on earth can lead to the deceased to peace of mind.

In short, it is those who possess the so-called "Dharma power" who can make the stray spirits become aware of the Buddha-nature within them.

For example, I would be able to make the lost spirit become aware of their Buddha-nature. First, I would convince the lost spirit of his or her mistake by giving him or her a stern talking-to, and then I would command the supporting spirits in the heavenly realm to send the stray spirit to a training center. Then, after the person has spent a certain period of time there, reflecting on his or her mistakes, he or she will become aware of their Buddha-nature (returning to heaven).

Ordinary people may not have psychic-like Dharma power, but through learning the Truth, they will have some "power of enlightenment" and "power of will." When such a person reads a sutra, his or her thoughts are transmitted to the deceased.

Although individual memorial services are time-consuming and not very efficient, people on earth can use the opportunity as a means of training themselves and transmitting their own virtues to the spirits in the afterlife.

The other world is a world of thoughts, and what people on earth think is conveyed to the spirits in the other world.

A person on earth says to a deceased person, "You were wrong in these respects. I will also make an effort to change my way of life, so you should also practice." If the person on earth continues this practice for five or ten years, the spirit in the afterlife will gradually be purified and saved.

From "Righteous Memorial Offering, Wrong Memorial Offering" by Ryuho Okawa

Precautions for Memorial Service for ancestors

Another problem with holding a memorial service for ancestors is that it can often attract other wandering spirits or spirits related to a religion, instead of your own ancestors. If you pray for your ancestors at home every day, many wandering spirits may come to your house, expecting that prayers will be offered for them, often with the result that your prayers have the opposite effect.

If you want to pray for your ancestors' souls without this negative effect, you need to study Buddha's Truth ardently and put it into practice in your daily life. As long as you live with a bright heart, you will have no connection with evil spirits. So, first, become filled with light. If you are full of light, evil will not be able to approach you. As a conclusion, I would like to state that the true road to happiness begins with reforming the self.

Finally, I would like to add one more point. Happy Science holds a Memorial Service Ceremony for Ancestors at its Head Temples and local branches. By taking part in these ceremonies under the guidance of our ministers, you will be able to offer prayers for your ancestors' souls in a safe manner, while receiving light from the world of the high spirits.

From "The Unhappiness Syndrome" by Ryuho Okawa.

Message to people in the same position, from a suicide bereaved family member

Based on telephone interviews with several suicide survivors...

Though you think your remaining family members may think you are a failure in life as well. But that is not true. Please don't blame yourself too much.

If you need to cry, you can cry in public too.

You and I are suffering the same.

Every human being lives for his or her own soul training.

The death of a family member can never solely be your fault.

When I met someone who was thinking of committing suicide and became the one to help him, I felt that I was saved from the self-doubt that had plagued me.

It is because I know the grief of the bereaved that I believe I can help those who suffer from the same experience.

Please live your life to the fullest.